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Prepared for conflict vs Looking for conflict

Scripture

“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live at peace with all.” (Romans 12:18) ESV

Thought

Is conflict a part of leadership? It absolutely is. A leader must be well versed in handling conflict. It comes with the territory and must be carefully managed. Not all conflict is bad, and much is necessary for advancing the organizations we’re a part of.

But there is a big difference in leadership when a leader is prepared for conflict versus looking for conflict. In fact, some people think a leader’s job is to go looking for conflict. A constant barrage on people to get them to perform more, execute more, and do more. Relentless, nose-to-nose confrontation toward all who aren’t “falling in line.”

Leadership involves conflict, but if your understanding of leading is to be in conflict with everyone - at best, you’re a transactional leader who is getting some short term results. At worst, you’re on your way out and don’t even know it yet.

If we’re going to handle the conflicts around us well, we first must handle the conflicts in us well. People who are conflicted often find themselves handling conflict poorly. When we’re conflicted we don’t have a good perspective on things. We’re not managing our stress well. And most of all, we’re not keeping our ego in check.

Some may view this charge as “soft” or “weak” when in fact the opposite is true. To live at peace with all (so far as it depends on us) may be the greatest indicator of leadership strength out there.

Why?

Because to do this we must humble ourselves, admit when we’re wrong, hold our non-essential opinions loosely, and ultimately re-evaluate what we’re willing to give energy to. Non-essential conflicts steal more energy and momentum than anything else you’ll face this week.

Plus, it makes you more “followable”.

Would you want to follow a leader who does this regularly?

  • Humbles themselves

  • Admits when they’re wrong

  • Holds their non-essential opinions loosely

  • Is selective on what they give energy to

Before you take that list and apply it to your boss.

“(Insert your bosses name) NEVER does any of that!”

What would the people you lead say about your ability to do those things regularly?

Call to Action

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