3 Fears We Must Embrace
In the early 1980’s Tim Grover was working as a personal fitness trainer at an obscure Chicago health club. A former NCAA division I basketball player at the University of Illinois-Chicago, Grover was eager to train basketball players. With a desire to train professional basketball players he began reaching out to the Chicago Bulls training staff hoping to gain a foot in the door towards possibly training some of their players privately. Really he was wanting to train with ANY of their players. Any. The Chicago Bulls training staff took his meetings, but no one was interested. Instead of giving up the pursuit, Grover reached out again a few years later. Throughout the eighties Grover had reached out to the Bulls numerous times, yet each time he was turned down. He continued to work as an underpaid athletic trainer with an expensive masters degree.
Years later, in the spring of 1989 - Grover read a small article in the Chicago Tribune about how Michael Jordan was tired of getting outmuscled by the world champion Detroit Pistons. Jordan was five years into his illustrious career and was coming off of a Most Valuable Player campaign in 1988, yet was still getting muscled around by the elite teams in the league. After reading the Chicago Tribune article, Grover yet again begged the Chicago Bulls training staff for a meeting to discuss the services he could provide in aiding the physical development of the players in the Bulls organization. Little did he know, at that exact time, Michael Jordan was now on the lookout for a private strength coach.
Having already been denied many times, Grover pleaded yet again for a meeting This time he was taken much more seriously and Grover was able to land a meeting with the Bulls team doctor John Hefferon and the head athletic trainer, Mark Pfeil. Heffernon was aware of Jordan’s history with strength training. New to the National Basketball League at the time, strength training had a brief episode in Jordan’s past. He had worked with only one other strength trainer in his career and it resulted in a nagging back injury. He was hesitant, but recognized something had to change with his physique in order to adapt to the league.
Grover arrived at the Chicago Bulls practice facility, a facility he knew all too well from his previous meetings and rejections. He had a great meeting with Hefferon and Pfeil and a few days later was called back to the facility for another meeting. This time the meeting would take place off property. Instead of meeting with the expanded training staff, they jumped in a car and headed across town to Michael Jordan’s home for a sit down with Jordan himself.
Jordan and Grover talked for over an hour. Grover, a 25 year-old trainer with no experience training professional athletes was sitting across from the 1988 Most Valuable Player and he began to explain how he could take Jordan’s game to another level. Grover outlined his entire comprehensive plan for what they would do to make Jordan stronger, more explosive, and more physically fit to mitigate the risk of injury. Grover’s planning was extensive. He laid out all of the specific lifting plans, all the key components to making the gains he wanted as well as a detailed plan for how to adjust on the court for every physical change to Jordan’s body. He explained that as he grew physically, it would have major alterations to his shot, and he explained how they would train on the court to blend the adjustments.
As Grover spoke, Jordan didn’t say a word. He waited until Grover was all finished with the plan and at the very end expressed his disagreement with Grover’s proposal.
“It’s too good to be true. There’s no way this is actually possible.”
Instead of engaging in a back and forth debate about the validity of the planning and materials Grover had delivered for over an hour, he requested 30 days to prove his plan worthy. 30 days of monitoring every minor detail from individual repetitions to caloric intake. From sleep and recovery to on court workouts. 30 days of leaving nothing to chance, documenting everything and tracking all of the growth. Jordan agreed to the terms.
What started with a 30 day trial for Tim Grover turned into 15 years of training Michael Jordan and aiding his development, helping Jordan to six NBA titles and five MVP awards to go along with 14 all-star game nominations. Grover became one of the few key voices in Michael Jordan’s ear and was the man behind the scenes of one of the most dominant athletes the world has ever seen.
Along with training Michael Jordan, Tim Grover had a similar connection with another NBA legend - the late Kobe Bryant. Grover also trained Dwayne Wade, Scottie Pippen, Charles Barkley, Hakeem Olajuwon and hundreds of other NBA, MLB, NFL and Olympic athletes as his career went on. He is the CEO and founder of ATTACK Athletics. He also is a world renowned keynote speaker and consultant to business leaders, and elite teams and athletes.
What has developed into a massive success, started in an obscure health club in the middle of Chicago with a 25 year old being denied an opportunity by the Chicago Bulls - multiple times - for years.
Tim Grover’s rise to the top of his field was far from an easy - natural ascent to the top. Along the way Grover was faced with disappointments, rejection, and more than one trip back to “the drawing board.” Grover’s journey is a powerful display of being mastery driven, and a belief in skill carefully crafted in obscurity. Like you and I, Grover was forced to face three fears that can be kryptonite in our professional journeys. Fears we all grapple with. Fears we must embrace. Fears we must allow to have their moment, then move past in order to get where we’re trying to go.
1.) A fear of EMBARRASSMENT
Imagine Grover leaving the Chicago Bulls training facility after yet another attempt to convey the value he could bring to the organization’s players. Imagine as he exited the building, denied the opportunity - again, surely there was some embarrassment as he started the car and pulled out of the lot. Maybe there were some snickers under the breath of a few staff members - shocked that this young, unproven health club trainer had boldly walked into this professional franchise’s doors. Grover was not free from the risk of embarrassment. In any risk there’s always a chance it could flop. It’s impossible to completely remove the potential of being embarrassed. In fact, a few embarrassing chapters just might be the prerequisite course in the higher learning of achieving mastery and success in your field. Like Grover, we must not allow a fear of being embarrassed stop us from taking the risks we know we should take. The real embarrassment would be to look back in twenty years and see a safe life - numbed by watching the nightly news and talking about the weather with acquaintances, never having put ourselves out there, never having taken any risks at all for fear of being embarrassed. We’re not helping anyone by hiding our gifts all because we’re afraid of the opinions of strangers.
How do we embrace a fear of embarrassment?
We establish a new definition of embarrassment - “It would be more embarrassing for me to not take risks than it would be for me to get turned down - in front of everybody.”
We remember everyone else is fighting embarrassment too - we’re not alone.
We begin to care little about the opinions of strangers.
2). A fear of REJECTION
Most of us can work up the courage to take a risk one time. But to do it “numerous” times over the span of a decade begins to paint the picture of a rare quality of a driven person. Tim Grover kept calling the Bulls training staff over the span of many years. Each time he would leave a meeting only to never be called again, he did not allow rejection keep him from getting “back on the horse.” It’s very easy to allow the experience of rejection to keep us from moving forward. Undoubtedly one of the greatest trainers in the world was rejected numerous times. Why would we assume the rejection we experience as we take risks is somehow unique to us? We can find great company in rejection. The path to the top goes right through rejection. In reality, it’s nothing more than arrogance and a poor estimation of our talent to assume we’ll be rushed to the top on the first try - free from experiencing the pain of rejection. It would be more beneficial for us to recognize rejection as an opportunity to grow. If we aren’t able to ask the self evaluative questions after being rejected we will fail to see the areas in which we can grow. If we can’t bring ourselves to ask the questions - then we’re not really in it for growth, we’re in it for our own ego. Rejection and an enlarged ego have nearly an impossible time coexisting. With humility, and our identity in the proper place, rejection has the capacity to be one of the most influential experiences for our growth.
How do we embrace a fear of rejection?
We remind ourselves that just because we are rejected doesn’t mean we are a reject.
We place our identity in being the type of person who takes risks.
We strive to be people who will “go for broke” instead of playing it safe. You can’t be rejected if you play it “safe” - but “safe” has never really been all that satisfying in the first place.
3.) A fear of FAILURE
It’s one thing to hope for the opportunity to break into an elite group. It’s an entirely different experience to sit across from one of the world’s greatest basketball players and convince him you are qualified to be his trainer. Imagine the thoughts going through the head of Tim Grover after he was able to convince Michael Jordan to train with him for 30 days. You’ve waited for the opportunity for so long - “I hope I don’t screw this up.” For many, the fear of blowing it would have kept them from even requesting the thirty day trial period. If we are not careful, the fear of failure can be so crippling that we can convince ourselves of an outcome that exists only in our heads. To sit across from Michael Jordan and confidently guarantee that “if you train with me for 30 days I will get you where you want to go,” is a powerful display of someone who is not afraid to fail. It’s not pride or arrogance that would cause someone to make a claim like that. Pride or arrogance would say “he should call me!” For Grover, it’s confidence. Confidence in the work done in the dark to prepare for an opportunity. Confidence in the material, the strategy, the tactics. It’s someone who has developed competence in their arena. It’s someone that says “Even if I fail over the next 30 days, I will be better for it.”
How do we embrace the fear of failure?
We train. We develop our craft. We get REALLY good at what we do.
We develop our skills to a level where we are certain we can deliver.
We use the fear to drive us to a deeper level of intensity and concentration towards development.
A fear of embarrassment, a fear of rejection and a fear of failure can derail us. We may never be able to fully eliminate these fears from our lives. I like to use the term “embrace” in place of “overcome” in relation to these fears. I’m not sure if we can ever fully “overcome” these fears. In order to move past these fears we don’t need to overcome or eliminate. We just need the courage to act in spite of fear.
Stay The Course,
JB
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