Scripture

“It was about that time that the mother of the Zebedee brothers came with her two sons and knelt before Jesus with a request.

“What do you want?” Jesus asked

She said, “Give your word that these two sons of mine will be awarded the highest places of honor in your kingdom, one at your right hand, and one at your left hand.” (Matthew 20:20-21 MSG)

Thought

At some point we all must get serious about what it is we want in life. We’re not talking in terms of status, compensation, benefits, corner office, reserved parking spaces. If you’ve been a part of the STC Newsletter for any time at all you’ve picked up on our view of those types of wants. They’re transactional, and they’re not what we’re about. They have their place. But we know they don’t really satisfy the deeper thirst inside of us.

“What do you want?”

This question is one of the most pressing for emerging transformational leaders. We really must do the difficult work of determining what it is we want. When Jesus spoke with the mother of the Zebedee brothers in Matthew 20 he didn’t initially tell her what she should want, he just asked her to be honest about what she really wants.

We have to be honest about what we want out of this leadership journey and what we want out of life.

Do you want an active faith that keeps you grounded and healthy at a soul level? Or just a superficial checking of the boxes?

Do you want a vibrant relationship with your spouse until the day you die? Or do you want to settle for a lukewarm partnership?

Do you want fulfilling work that uses your strengths while stretching you beyond your default abilities? Or do you want boredom and counting down the days until the weekend?

Do you want lifelong relationships with your kids? Or do you want to ship em’ off at eighteen years old and wipe your hands clean of all responsibilities?

Defining what we want changes everything. But we often settle for unnecessary internal ambiguity. When we don’t clearly define what we want, we can’t hold ourselves accountable to making sure we are heading toward those desires.

In our society, wanting is typically meant to mean material possessions or career ambitions. Bigger house, more expensive cars, high-paying promotions, executive suite, Division I jobs.

We’ve really lowered the bar for our wants.

For the transformational leader, determining what we want means doing some soul-searching. Deeply considering the real things that matter in life and leadership. Dreaming of the things that will nourish our soul to the very end. Contemplating and committing to the rhythms of our inside life that will sustain us through the really difficult chapters.

Living a higher standard means not settling for cheap wants. It means rejecting what we are told we should want and trading it for what we know will provide health and longevity to this journey. It means fighting for clarity. Recognizing we’re often fulfilled the most when we are pouring out and giving rather than taking and receiving.

Clarity is worth fighting for. We're better when we know what we truly want, when we’ve counted the costs and are willing to go get it. If we don’t define it, we’ll drift to the path of least resistance which almost certainly leads to what we don’t really want in life.

Everything about the higher standard is uphill. Rarely will the path of least resistance lead to anything meaningful.

Transformational leaders know what they want.

Call to Action

Sign up for our free email course - The Transformational Transition Course. We’ll walk you through six lessons + an invitation to a live call. Find out more on our latest episode of the podcast below!