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“The quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life” - Ester Perel
This isn’t just a nice sentiment—it’s a profound truth with far-reaching implications for our well-being and even our leadership longevity.
As we strive for our ambitious goals, we often find ourselves facing a difficult tension: how do we nurture deep, meaningful relationships while pursuing our dreams with unwavering focus?
Let’s be honest, we’ve all been there.
The late-night meetings, the weekend projects, the constant push for “more.”
In this relentless pursuit, what often gets sacrificed? Our relationships.
We choose the conference call over dinner with family, the film study over play time, the coding sprint over a date night.
Why does this happen? We fall prey to the illusion that our ambitions are somehow separate from our lives, rather than an integral part of them. We prioritize tasks over people, mistaking activity for progress.
In this issue, I’m going to remind you that cultivating good quality relationships will always be mission critical to sustained high performance.
Understanding Our Tendencies
At the beginning of the year, I completed a weeklong time study to get a better understanding of how I was spending my time. I try to do this a few times over the course of a year to assure my time is aligned with my priorities.
In completing this time study I realized my wife and I had spent zero minutes of purposeful time together.
I didn’t need a relationship expert to tell me this wasn’t good. So, upon recognizing this I decided to schedule a date. Nothing crazy, just a simple lunch date on a Friday.
It was exactly what we needed. I kid you not, I could feel the relationship fortifying in that very moment. It’s crazy what a little quality time with a dear friend, partner, or loved one can do.
Time spent investing in quality relationships is always time well spent.
Consistently choosing to spend that time elsewhere always comes at a cost.
And It’s higher than we often realize.
Neglecting our relationships doesn't just lead to missed birthdays or awkward silences. It chips away at our very foundation.
Strong relationships are proven to reduce stress, boost our immune systems, and even lengthen our lives.
Without them, we risk burnout, loneliness, and a deep sense of emptiness, even amidst outward success beyond your wildest dreams.
So, what’s the solution?
It’s not about choosing between ambition and relationships. It’s about understanding that they are intertwined.
It’s about prioritizing quality over quantity.
A few truly meaningful connections are worth far more than a vast network of superficial acquaintances.
We must also be aware of the tendencies that lead us to deprioritize relationships.
Do we equate busyness with importance? Do we fear vulnerability? Do we believe we can “make it up later”?
Recognizing these tendencies is the first step towards changing them.
Ask yourself: Are you truly present when you are with loved ones, or are you mentally still at work? Are you communicating openly about your needs and challenges? Are you valuing connection as much as you value achievement?
I believe we can achieve both meaningful success and fulfilling relationships.
It requires intention, prioritization, and a deep understanding that our connections are not a distraction from our goals, but rather the very fuel that sustains us on our journey.
Stay The Course,
