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Here we stand, my friends, at the beginning of a new year.
A time, by tradition, for resolutions – pronouncements of self-improvement often as fleeting as the champagne bubbles clinging to all those 9-oz flutes that were enthusiastically raised to the sky to ring in the new year.
I joke, but I do sense that beneath this custom lies a deeper truth, a yearning for transformation buried deep in the core of our nature.
Resolutions aren’t new. The tradition of making New Year's resolutions can be traced back to the ancient Babylonians some 4,000 years ago.
Over time this annual ritual has shifted from promises made to ancient gods to the self-help slogans flooding our socials.
Now, we find ourselves squarely in this “New Year, New You” consumerism era, promising a transformed self at the price of a gym membership, an outfit, a supplement regimen, or the latest quantified self gadget.
We’re being seduced by a mirage!
True transformation doesn’t spring from a “limited-time offer”. It blossoms from the fertile ground within.
In this issue, I’m going to share some thoughts to invite you into a counter-narrative. Insights that illuminate a way to reclaim the spirit of renewal for genuine growth, and encourage you to shift your attention from external change to the quiet cultivation of your inner life.
I hope to inspire you to nurture self-acceptance and mindfulness, appreciating the present moment rather than chasing a future self forever out of reach.
Pursuing Success
Milestones are powerful! Especially, when they signal new beginnings.
The “Fresh Start” effect is a real thing. This is a well documented phenomenon in psychology. It suggests that people are more motivated to pursue goals immediately after temporal landmarks or "fresh starts," such as the beginning of a new week, month, year, or season.
These temporal landmarks create a mental break from the past, allowing individuals to feel like they have a clean slate and a renewed sense of control over their lives.
Our minds tend to organize time into distinct mental categories or "accounts." This mental accounting allows us to compartmentalize our experiences and create a sense of progress and change.
The problem with this is our tendency to manipulate the process by being quick to attribute negative traits, experiences and failures to our past self to maintain a positive image of our current self.
We try to separate our successes from our failures to give us an artificial boost in self-efficacy.
Don’t fall into this trap of pushing your imperfections to the past and counting progress as the absence of negative.
Quit trying to leverage milestones to quash the evidence of your “negatives”.
Doing so will only exacerbate the problems, because it promotes avoidance.
Real progress is driven by the presence of positive capacities, not the absence of negative attributes.
Success and failure travel together. Failure hides in success.
Study your success to avoid the eventual drift into failure. Understand how success is created and it will take you where failure will come from.
In every win there's a weakness waiting to be discovered.
Failure keeps success humble.
Failures are only misses. The key is knowing whether it was a good miss or a bad miss?
Good misses move us forward. We learn from them and make adjustments.
Bad misses move us backward. We distance ourselves from them and make excuses.
True transformation always requires a process.
The reason resolutions, especially those driven by external forces, have proven to be so ineffective at spurring real change is because it puts downward pressure on our willingness to embrace the process necessary to achieve true transformation.
The Story Is Not Over
As we head into this new year I feel it is vitally important to acknowledge the transient nature of our current position.
We need to appreciate that “who we are” is constantly changing. It’s an amalgam of our accumulated experiences, current beliefs, cultural influences, actions, and associations.
We’re representing who we are at this very moment, but that representation may change if the facts change.
It is not in our best interest to either force change or resist change.
Instead we should commit to learning through our experiences.
Experiences don’t last, by definition - perhaps that’s what makes them so special.
Ask anyone to share about the greatest lessons they’ve learned and you’ll hear about a genuine experience.
An experience that;
Helped them find purpose amidst difficulties
Helped them build trust amidst uncertainty
Helped them express gratitude for even the smallest things
This is what renewal looks like. It’s a never ending story of once upon a time…
We experienced, we learned, we improved, we stayed the course.
Rethinking Resolutions
Instead of rigid resolutions, plant the seeds of intention.
These intentions require flexibility and care.
Embrace the inevitable setbacks. Treat yourself with compassion, for self-criticism is a barren soil.
Be wary of the “New year, New you” marketing noise. Question the messages that equate self-worth with material possessions.
Celebrate the small victories, the daily acts of growth that nourish the soul.
Seek genuine connection, for community strengthens us more than fleeting comparisons fostered by social media.
Pursue holistic well-being, a foundation built from blocks of physical, mental, spiritual and emotional health.
Remember, my friends, that growth is a journey, not a destination. Embrace the continuous unfolding of your being, a process far grander than the confines of a calendar year.
Reconnect with your core values, the guiding stars that illuminate your path. Let your purpose be the engine that propels you forward, rather than the fleeting trends of the moment.
As we embark on this new year, may we navigate not by the clamor of the world, but by the compass of our own hearts.
For within each of us lies the potential for a truly transformative journey, a journey that begins not with a grand resolution, but with a quiet intention and a steady resolve to become the best version of ourselves.
Stay The Course,
